Im happy but there is a heavy feeling of sadness in my heart that I just can't remove. Why am I like this?

I was tired of fighting.

What most people don’t know unless they’ve looked more closely is that there is also an element of deep, profound sadness that has always been with me since as long as I can remember.

It’s still here.

What is your review of "Regent", episode 5 of Season 2 House of the Dragon?

It’s here now, writing to you.

It wasn’t until about 10 years ago that I finally fell out of that ferris wheel of trying and failing to fix myself.

I was tired of trying and failing.

What is your biggest mistake or regret?

But no matter what I read or practiced, I could never make the sadness budge for longer than a few fleeting moments - and even then, it was likely due to me being distracted from the sensation of sadness rather than anything actually shifting.

What I am trying to say is that when you stop trying to change yourself into something you are not, you give yourself the gift of discovering yourself as you already are.

Needless to say, my failed attempts to fix my sadness simply brought me more pain and suffering.

I'm a 28-year-old guy who has never been in a relationship, nor can I seem to find someone who wants to be in one with me. Why do I feel like a freak?

Now, this may sound like a story of failure and giving up, but it’s actually a story of liberation.

The sadness was still there.

And the sadness?

I caught my husband of 20 years looking at inappropriate pics of women on TikTok or Instagram. I'm not sure., but when I told him he got mad and made excuses of why they popped up. I then told him how I've snuck on his phone and saw what he's been looking at . We had a horrible big fight. I asked him why did he even marry me when I see the type he likes . Nothing like me, I'm petite, blonde and blue eyes. These women are dark haired dark eyed and have curvy bodies, large breasts, etc. I just don't feel the same about him after this. I can't get over this

This interpretation lead me on a path of self improvement, to fix what I considered to be “wrong” with myself.

You are the masterpiece you came here to discover.

It’s the most beautiful and liberating thing in the world.

What factors contributed to The Beatles' bitterness?

I had run out of hope.

Your job is not to be the manager of your life, but the one who discovers yourself fully.

But unlike before, there is no more resistance to the sadness.

Why do North Indians, living in Bangalore, not bother to learn Kannada?

Be who you already are.

Without resistance, sadness has a sense of beauty and depth I cannot find otherwise in life.

For much of my adult life, I interpreted this sadness as something being wrong - with either myself or my life in general.

Why do women consider 80% of men as unattractive?

So if you are sad - like me - then be sad.

It’s impossible to overstate the freedom and peace I discovered, and I realized the only one who had been keeping those from me was… me and my imagined standards and expectations for how I had imagined I should be.

Most people that know me would probably describe me as a social, happy, and somewhat quirky person with a twisted sense of humor.

What is the best way to get revenge on people who hurt you?

When I stopped trying to force myself to be something I am not, I gave myself the freedom of being who I am.

In the absence of a should, I was free to be as I am.

You are like me, then.

Do married men know when their wives are having affairs?

It’s difficult to put into words exactly what caused what, but to the best of my ability to describe it, I felt as if my will to keep fighting was beaten right out of me.

So I finally threw my hands up and said something to the tune of “fuck it, since I can't seem to change, I’ll just be whatever I am then.”